Published inGreener Pastures MagazineCome On In, The Water’s So Cold I No Longer Care About AnythingIf you only like to swim in comfortable temperatures, you’re missing out.Feb 27, 2024Feb 27, 2024
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineIf Famous Twist Ending Movies Didn’t Have TwistsThey’d be both lighter AND darker…Sep 14, 2023Sep 14, 2023
Published inSlackjawIntroducing “The Beatles Retrospective Retrospective”More than 50 years of Beatles nostalgia.Dec 15, 20213Dec 15, 20213
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineI Proudly Suffer From Acid No-Fucks DiseaseA world in which I can’t have weird cheese dreams is not one I want to live in.Oct 20, 20211Oct 20, 20211
Published inSlackjawI Picked a Bad Name for My Website That Only Sells FansI knew we should never have taken our store online. This is all my son’s fault.Sep 28, 20215Sep 28, 20215
Published inSlackjawI Am the Genie Of The HR Lamp Here To Grant You Three Magical Sick DaysAnd, no, you can’t use your sick day to wish for more sick days.Aug 9, 20212Aug 9, 20212
Published inSlackjawAn Audubon Guide To The Weird Sounds Coming From The Hallway Outside My Apartment At 3:00 AMHow to tell a North American Screaming Baby from a Common Drunk Vomiting Guy.Jun 23, 20212Jun 23, 20212
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineTo Make Great Finger Puppets, You Must Purge Yourself of All HappinessIf you’ve ever caught yourself smiling while you work, you might as well quit now.May 26, 2021May 26, 2021
